January 12th 2012
Every second of every day, we make choices.
We choose whether or not we're going to get out of bed in the morning.
We choose what we wear.
We choose what we eat.
We choose what things (if any) we are going to accomplish on our ever-growing "to-do" lists.
We choose who we are going to reach out to and we choose who we are going to ignore.
We choose what we put up with or don't put up with in relationships or marriages.
We choose what careers we want, or what level of education we attain.
We choose to break the law, or abide by it.
We choose where we live, how we live, and what moral code we live by.
Choosing, in many instances has become as much of a thoughtless ritual as breathing.
We do it but we aren't always conscious of it.
And the weird thing about choices and choosing is that both inaction and action are choices.
Unless you are an infant or an inmate, you choose.
Some of us get stuck into ruts or thrown into situations and we complain.
And complaining can be good, because sometimes it's all we need to keep going on if the situation we're in can't be changed.
But even with things that we can't change (an overbearing parent, a heath condition, the weather, etc) we still have control over our interactions and reactions with those things.
& what's that phrase from Spiderman? "With great power comes great responsibility"?
Well... I don't think you have to be the President to be considered someone who has "great power".
Each one of us has great power. We have great power because we have choices.
And just as we are taught when we are children- our choices have consequences.
It is SO easy to blame others. YOU wronged me and so THAT'S why I am the way I am.
No. It is one thing to recognize that other people have had an impact on us.
We're humans- of COURSE we are affected by other people's actions (just as we impact them)
but at the end of the day, your behavior is a choice.
You have to take responsibility. You are where you are because you put yourself there. Maybe not a 100% conscious decision or placement, or it may not always be JUST you.
If i'm driving on a highway and it's windy out--- the wind may push my car a little to the left or a little to the right even though I am holding the steering wheel steady-- but it's not enough for me to roll my car over and say "well, the wind did it".
I am not perfect.
I complain about things I can easily change, I make stupid choices, and sometimes I'm slow to take responsibility for my actions.
But I swear, I'm working on it. I'm learning.
It is so much easier to change myself than to change the millions of people I'll interact with over my lifetime.
Finding happiness and fulfilling our dreams and our purpose in life are the most important things any of us will do in our lives. To hand over the control of that to other people is both foolish and dangerous.
I choose. I'm in control. I have the power.
& owning up to that means to stop pointing fingers, even when life slaps me in the face.
and that's all i have to say about that.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Dear Tommy- Signed, Your CPS Worker
November 15th 2011
Dear Tommy*,
When I first met you, I expected a monster. After a report was made regarding a four year old, knife-wielding, out of control little boy, I don’t know how one would expect anything different. But instead of a terror who just needed to be disciplined- a polite, eager-to-please, wide-eyed boy stood in his place.
Your lack of anxiety towards me, a complete stranger, was endearing. Your hugs and “I love you’s” pulled on my heart strings. It was only a minute before an unsettling feeling set in that told me that your mannerisms are not out of pure four-year-old cuteness but a result of your being shifted from house to house, caregiver to caregiver dozens of times in your short life. Strangers are normal to you and attachments to people you have bonded with have probably been broken time and time again.
When I did my home visit at the residence where you are currently staying, you were there. You were in your room, quietly playing with legos. You were on an all-day time out for being naughty the night before. But when I came in, you hurriedly escaped your little prison to give me a hug and say hello. If it wasn’t inappropriate, I would have given you a huge hug back. Instead, I had to give you an arm around the back and leave it at that. You were told to get back into your room. Soon after, you asked if you could come out to use the bathroom, proudly exclaiming afterwards that you had washed your hands all by yourself. There was no praise, only “you better not have left pee on the seat!” as a response. You sat silently at a plastic, dirty table and chair set with a single peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch which you gulped down in a nanosecond. You quietly went to put your plate in the sink and get ready for your nap which you agreed to with a meek “okay”, something I’ve never, ever witnessed a four year old do.
And I’m left to wonder.
Wonder just how naughty you were the night before to deserve an all-day punishment.
Wonder if you heard your caregiver when she told me she doesn’t even like kids.
Wonder if you were still hungry after that sandwich, which went down so fast.
Wonder if you ever receive praise; ever get told what a good boy you are.
I wonder about your past and I wonder about your present and I worry for your future.
Every time I have seen you, I have witnessed the most intense desire to receive attention. To be noticed and acknowledged, to be held and to be played with. I think you’ve already started to notice that if you want to get attention, you have to do naughty things. And I wouldn’t blame you for doing them.
Your case is not the most horrific I’ve seen. Not by a long shot. But it is one I know will haunt me for years to come. And I’m terrified that when you are an adult, someone will be saying “the system failed this child.” But in a sick, twisted way, it’s unfortunate you are safe. Your physical safety means my hands are tied. You cannot be removed because the adults in charge of parenting you are not doing a good job. Bad parenting isn’t a crime. And I acknowledge with a heavy heart that you’re likely to go untouched by the system all through your childhood because you’re being raised “just well enough”.
I hope that you remain resilient. I hope my prayers don’t land on deaf ears. Because right now, that’s all I can do for you. I’m sorry I’m failing you and I can’t do anything about it.
Signed,
Your CPS worker
"Be The Christian You Say You Are"
January 5th 2011
My aunt makes us give her our Christmas lists by early November every year.
And every early November i enter a state of panic because I haven't even started thinking about what I want to put on my list.
So i search online for things that i don't really want, but might be nice to have.
This year, I found a book title that sounded interesting.
"Under the Overpass- A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America" by Mike Yankoski.
I read online that it was about a college-aged guy who grew up middle class and decided to live homeless for five months in a few different cities in the US.
I guess I didn't really think too much about the word "faith" or I may not have written the book title down on my wishlist, considering i'm not that religious.
But on it went, and lo and behold i received the book for Christmas.
It was amazing.
I just finished it today.
It actually recognizes and addresses the reason i'm not very religious.
The idea to do this popped into Mikes head while sitting in church one Sunday.
"The pastor was delivering a powerful sermon about living the Christian life. The gist of it was "Be the Christian you say you are" Suddenly i was shocked to realize that i had just driven twenty minutes past the world that needed me to be the Christian I say I am , in order to hear a sermon entitled "Be the Christian you say you are." Soon i would drive back past that same world to the privilege of my comfortable life on campus at a Christian College"
So he decides to be the Christian he said he was, and test his faith, and share it with those most needy.
He got a friend to join him, and off they went- with two guitars and two sleeping bags.
To say they struggled is an understatement. They were dirty, hungry all the time and ignored or sneered at the vast majority of the time.
A few times, at missionaries and such, there were sermons they would attend and i thought this fact was interesting:
"of the twenty seven chapel services i attended, about twenty focused on hell, condemnation, sin and eternal suffering. Are each of these relevant parts of the gospel message? Yes. But are they the most appropriate parts to focus on with such a physically needy group? Probably not. Telling someone who is suffering deeply that he's going to suffer more is probably a waste of breath. it's like warning someone who is already starving that they'r about to get really hungry. But tell him of the restaurant that serves heaping meals to all who come no matter where they're from or what they look like, and he's more than likely to listen"
"I thought of Christ's words, "for God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but ot save the world through him" Weren't these well-intentioned speakers condemning the broken for being broken?
There are so many other instances in which Christians shunned Mike and his traveling partner, Sam. Church leaders shooed them off of church grounds for no real reason. At one point, Mike's sandal broke and his foot was bleeding. They were in church and some church-goers actually stopped to talk with them. They made it very obvious that they were hungry, and desperately needed new shoes. And the church-goers awkwardly left saying "We'll pray for you!"
Mike says "Why do we so often overlook obvious ways to show the love of God we so loudly proclaim? If someone is thirsty, give them a drink! If someone is hungry, feed them! Who is to show the world Christ's love if not the church? I'm starving, and my feet hurt, and that guy back there knows it. But hey, he's praying for us"
And Mike acknowledges that many who are on the street have drug and alcohol problems. So it may not always be best to donate money to the guy panhandling on the street corner.
He says however, that you can offer to buy them a sandwich, or even give them your leftovers. Give them a smile at least. Because these people are still that- people. Living, breathing human beings. Who are worth something. Who have emotions.
It's so easy to walk past, not make eye contact and pretend you never saw them.
But you did.
And you didn't do anything about it.
I had to run some errands for CoffeeBytes while i was working today- which required a trip down State Street.
And on my way back to the shop I noticed a man out panhandling, singing and asking for change.
It was COLD out today and I just felt so sorry for this man who had nothing on but a thin coat.
When I got to him, he asked for some change.
I looked him in the eyes and said sorry, but I'd like to buy you a sandwich if you're hungry.
His eyes lit up and he said "really!?"
We walked across the street to a sub shop.
We chatted for just a minute and he told me he had just been released from the hospital (i saw the hospital bracelet on his wrist) and he's trying to get money to pay for his prescriptions which he can't afford right now. He needs penicillin which i'm assuming is probably pretty important.
I told him to go up and order whatever he'd like. He got a tuna sandwich.
A lady came up and asked what she could get for me and i just told her that i was paying for the man i was with and that's all.
It cost me $4.40. I walked over to the man (wish i would have gotten his name!) And told him he was all taken care of, and wished him luck with his health.
He gave me a huge hug, which may have been crossing the line, but i didn't mind at all.
He was just so genuinely happy.
I didn't do this act to tell people so they would say "good job Brittany! you're such a good person!"
Just for the same reason that I didn't do it to prove to God that i'm living the way He wants us to.
I did it because that man was real, and was hungry. And i had $4 to spare. And if I was in his position, I would hope someone would stop and try to help me. Even if just for a meal.
And every early November i enter a state of panic because I haven't even started thinking about what I want to put on my list.
So i search online for things that i don't really want, but might be nice to have.
This year, I found a book title that sounded interesting.
"Under the Overpass- A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America" by Mike Yankoski.
I read online that it was about a college-aged guy who grew up middle class and decided to live homeless for five months in a few different cities in the US.
I guess I didn't really think too much about the word "faith" or I may not have written the book title down on my wishlist, considering i'm not that religious.
But on it went, and lo and behold i received the book for Christmas.
It was amazing.
I just finished it today.
It actually recognizes and addresses the reason i'm not very religious.
The idea to do this popped into Mikes head while sitting in church one Sunday.
"The pastor was delivering a powerful sermon about living the Christian life. The gist of it was "Be the Christian you say you are" Suddenly i was shocked to realize that i had just driven twenty minutes past the world that needed me to be the Christian I say I am , in order to hear a sermon entitled "Be the Christian you say you are." Soon i would drive back past that same world to the privilege of my comfortable life on campus at a Christian College"
So he decides to be the Christian he said he was, and test his faith, and share it with those most needy.
He got a friend to join him, and off they went- with two guitars and two sleeping bags.
To say they struggled is an understatement. They were dirty, hungry all the time and ignored or sneered at the vast majority of the time.
A few times, at missionaries and such, there were sermons they would attend and i thought this fact was interesting:
"of the twenty seven chapel services i attended, about twenty focused on hell, condemnation, sin and eternal suffering. Are each of these relevant parts of the gospel message? Yes. But are they the most appropriate parts to focus on with such a physically needy group? Probably not. Telling someone who is suffering deeply that he's going to suffer more is probably a waste of breath. it's like warning someone who is already starving that they'r about to get really hungry. But tell him of the restaurant that serves heaping meals to all who come no matter where they're from or what they look like, and he's more than likely to listen"
"I thought of Christ's words, "for God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but ot save the world through him" Weren't these well-intentioned speakers condemning the broken for being broken?
There are so many other instances in which Christians shunned Mike and his traveling partner, Sam. Church leaders shooed them off of church grounds for no real reason. At one point, Mike's sandal broke and his foot was bleeding. They were in church and some church-goers actually stopped to talk with them. They made it very obvious that they were hungry, and desperately needed new shoes. And the church-goers awkwardly left saying "We'll pray for you!"
Mike says "Why do we so often overlook obvious ways to show the love of God we so loudly proclaim? If someone is thirsty, give them a drink! If someone is hungry, feed them! Who is to show the world Christ's love if not the church? I'm starving, and my feet hurt, and that guy back there knows it. But hey, he's praying for us"
And Mike acknowledges that many who are on the street have drug and alcohol problems. So it may not always be best to donate money to the guy panhandling on the street corner.
He says however, that you can offer to buy them a sandwich, or even give them your leftovers. Give them a smile at least. Because these people are still that- people. Living, breathing human beings. Who are worth something. Who have emotions.
It's so easy to walk past, not make eye contact and pretend you never saw them.
But you did.
And you didn't do anything about it.
I had to run some errands for CoffeeBytes while i was working today- which required a trip down State Street.
And on my way back to the shop I noticed a man out panhandling, singing and asking for change.
It was COLD out today and I just felt so sorry for this man who had nothing on but a thin coat.
When I got to him, he asked for some change.
I looked him in the eyes and said sorry, but I'd like to buy you a sandwich if you're hungry.
His eyes lit up and he said "really!?"
We walked across the street to a sub shop.
We chatted for just a minute and he told me he had just been released from the hospital (i saw the hospital bracelet on his wrist) and he's trying to get money to pay for his prescriptions which he can't afford right now. He needs penicillin which i'm assuming is probably pretty important.
I told him to go up and order whatever he'd like. He got a tuna sandwich.
A lady came up and asked what she could get for me and i just told her that i was paying for the man i was with and that's all.
It cost me $4.40. I walked over to the man (wish i would have gotten his name!) And told him he was all taken care of, and wished him luck with his health.
He gave me a huge hug, which may have been crossing the line, but i didn't mind at all.
He was just so genuinely happy.
I didn't do this act to tell people so they would say "good job Brittany! you're such a good person!"
Just for the same reason that I didn't do it to prove to God that i'm living the way He wants us to.
I did it because that man was real, and was hungry. And i had $4 to spare. And if I was in his position, I would hope someone would stop and try to help me. Even if just for a meal.
Social Work/Child Welfare: The Invisible Profession
November 18th 2010
There are times when I feel guilty for writing about some of the horrendous things I encounter at my internship with Child Protective Services.
I wouldn't be surprised if some of my readers don't even read my entries once they realize the content that particular entry will probably contain.
I write about what happens as a way for me to process my feelings.
I write about the children so that I never forget their stories.
But I could be doing that in a private journal, in entries that no one else but me will read.
Instead I share it with all of you.
I share it because child welfare work is what I like to call "the invisible profession"
Our society as a whole, doesn't like to acknowledge that child abuse and neglect happen.
I met a woman yesterday in the county I do CPS for, and she asked me where I was interning.
When I told her, she was shocked.
Not the usual shock that I get, the "why would you do that kind of work!" but shock because she didn't ever think that her rural county would NEED services like CPS.
She made a comment like "well, i can't imagine that there would be much for you to do around here!"
I told her nicely, but curtly, "you'd be surprised"
CHILD ABUSE HAPPENS IN YOUR BACKYARD, AND FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE IT DOES NOT MAKE IT DISAPPEAR.
It is not a problem specifically of the poor, of the minorities, of inner city families, of single headed households, of uneducated parents.
These kids are your children's friends, classmates. They are your students, your clients, your neighbors.
Another thing I struggle with, and this may seen selfish- but the intense lack of recognition child welfare workers receive.
I went shopping the other day, and saw in the window of New York & Co a flier advertising 20% off for teachers, EMT, firefighters, police, and military.
Those are all incredible admirable careers. Absolutely one hundred percent important. And they deserve the recognition.
A little voice in my head said "but what about social workers?"
Is it because we as a society prefer to believe that all parents take care of their children, like they are supposed to?
CPS workers are these evil creatures who are just "baby snatchers" as we've been so graciously nicknamed?
I don't know..
I guess i'm just trying to promote awareness.
Not for myself, I couldn't care less if people didn't recognize the importance of what I do.
Even with the New York & Co thing, It's not at all me being upset that I don't qualify for a discount.
It's just another recognition of helping professions, with social work left out. Which isn't to me so much of a denial of social workers (particularly child welfare), but a denial of the need for social workers. Which is sort of like a denial of the children who need our help.
Don't even get me started on the salaries of helping professions.
We've got a pretty messed up values system.
How can someone earn millions of dollars for getting a ball into a hoop, and someone who gives our future an education, or keeps them safe makes $30-40,000 /yr.
There are no words....
There are times when I feel guilty for writing about some of the horrendous things I encounter at my internship with Child Protective Services.
I wouldn't be surprised if some of my readers don't even read my entries once they realize the content that particular entry will probably contain.
I write about what happens as a way for me to process my feelings.
I write about the children so that I never forget their stories.
But I could be doing that in a private journal, in entries that no one else but me will read.
Instead I share it with all of you.
I share it because child welfare work is what I like to call "the invisible profession"
Our society as a whole, doesn't like to acknowledge that child abuse and neglect happen.
I met a woman yesterday in the county I do CPS for, and she asked me where I was interning.
When I told her, she was shocked.
Not the usual shock that I get, the "why would you do that kind of work!" but shock because she didn't ever think that her rural county would NEED services like CPS.
She made a comment like "well, i can't imagine that there would be much for you to do around here!"
I told her nicely, but curtly, "you'd be surprised"
CHILD ABUSE HAPPENS IN YOUR BACKYARD, AND FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE IT DOES NOT MAKE IT DISAPPEAR.
It is not a problem specifically of the poor, of the minorities, of inner city families, of single headed households, of uneducated parents.
These kids are your children's friends, classmates. They are your students, your clients, your neighbors.
Another thing I struggle with, and this may seen selfish- but the intense lack of recognition child welfare workers receive.
I went shopping the other day, and saw in the window of New York & Co a flier advertising 20% off for teachers, EMT, firefighters, police, and military.
Those are all incredible admirable careers. Absolutely one hundred percent important. And they deserve the recognition.
A little voice in my head said "but what about social workers?"
Is it because we as a society prefer to believe that all parents take care of their children, like they are supposed to?
CPS workers are these evil creatures who are just "baby snatchers" as we've been so graciously nicknamed?
I don't know..
I guess i'm just trying to promote awareness.
Not for myself, I couldn't care less if people didn't recognize the importance of what I do.
Even with the New York & Co thing, It's not at all me being upset that I don't qualify for a discount.
It's just another recognition of helping professions, with social work left out. Which isn't to me so much of a denial of social workers (particularly child welfare), but a denial of the need for social workers. Which is sort of like a denial of the children who need our help.
Don't even get me started on the salaries of helping professions.
We've got a pretty messed up values system.
How can someone earn millions of dollars for getting a ball into a hoop, and someone who gives our future an education, or keeps them safe makes $30-40,000 /yr.
There are no words....
Sympathy for the Maltreaters
November 9th 2010
Prior to September, the knowledge of the undeserved advantages I had growing up were tucked back in some compartment in my brain that i rarely accessed.
Since I began my internship, I am constantly reminded of them.
I don't feel guilty, because while my advantages were undeserved, I didn't take them from anybody. They just were.
I feel sad though.
And sometimes I feel just as sad for the parents I encounter, as I do the children.
Many of the parents I've come into contact with are young.
Today I met parents just a year older than me in a courtroom.
Dad was in an orange jumpsuit with cuffed wrists, and mom appeared through a video screen because she's in a mental health center.
During the verbal battles between the assistant DA, the Judge, Human Services, and the Guardian ad Litem all I could wonder is "how did these parents get here?"
Because although it's obvious, sometimes we forget that all parents, all adults, were children at some point.
And most child maltreaters have pasts just as dark as their children's presents.
Does that matter?
How can it not matter?
My childhood matters. My parents happy marriage mattered. My geographic location mattered. My race mattered. My education mattered. My biology mattered.
Where I am right this moment is a reflection and a direct result of the way I was brought up.
If I can give credit to my past for where I am now, why can't some of the parents I encounter place blame on their past without being told "well you should have just gotten past it"
I'm not trying to excuse the behavior of any of the maltreaters out there, but merely recognize that these people are not just "bad people". They too, are often victims with unresolved issues and pasts, and have not had the opportunity to learn healthy coping strategies.
What they need are intense services and support from society, not labels and incarceration (with exceptions!)
Because at the end of the day, these individuals are still parents, and the only bio parents their children will have.
And that's a bond that should never be shattered by a third party unless absolutely necessary.
And even if that bond is broken, a child does not forget his/her biological parents.
I guess it's just our infatuation with punishing instead of helping.
Because helping costs money, and why should the "undeserving" receive help?
I'll tell you why.
Because the "undeserving" have children who ARE deserving. And chances are, the "undeserving" 10, 20, 30 years ago would have been seen by society as being deserving, except we dropped the ball and missed our chance to intervene with them.
and so while we think we're just punishing parents, we punish their children as well.
Until those children worthy of our sympathy grow up to be parents. Then we expect them to know how to properly raise their children.
And the cycle repeats.
Prior to September, the knowledge of the undeserved advantages I had growing up were tucked back in some compartment in my brain that i rarely accessed.
Since I began my internship, I am constantly reminded of them.
I don't feel guilty, because while my advantages were undeserved, I didn't take them from anybody. They just were.
I feel sad though.
And sometimes I feel just as sad for the parents I encounter, as I do the children.
Many of the parents I've come into contact with are young.
Today I met parents just a year older than me in a courtroom.
Dad was in an orange jumpsuit with cuffed wrists, and mom appeared through a video screen because she's in a mental health center.
During the verbal battles between the assistant DA, the Judge, Human Services, and the Guardian ad Litem all I could wonder is "how did these parents get here?"
Because although it's obvious, sometimes we forget that all parents, all adults, were children at some point.
And most child maltreaters have pasts just as dark as their children's presents.
Does that matter?
How can it not matter?
My childhood matters. My parents happy marriage mattered. My geographic location mattered. My race mattered. My education mattered. My biology mattered.
Where I am right this moment is a reflection and a direct result of the way I was brought up.
If I can give credit to my past for where I am now, why can't some of the parents I encounter place blame on their past without being told "well you should have just gotten past it"
I'm not trying to excuse the behavior of any of the maltreaters out there, but merely recognize that these people are not just "bad people". They too, are often victims with unresolved issues and pasts, and have not had the opportunity to learn healthy coping strategies.
What they need are intense services and support from society, not labels and incarceration (with exceptions!)
Because at the end of the day, these individuals are still parents, and the only bio parents their children will have.
And that's a bond that should never be shattered by a third party unless absolutely necessary.
And even if that bond is broken, a child does not forget his/her biological parents.
I guess it's just our infatuation with punishing instead of helping.
Because helping costs money, and why should the "undeserving" receive help?
I'll tell you why.
Because the "undeserving" have children who ARE deserving. And chances are, the "undeserving" 10, 20, 30 years ago would have been seen by society as being deserving, except we dropped the ball and missed our chance to intervene with them.
and so while we think we're just punishing parents, we punish their children as well.
Until those children worthy of our sympathy grow up to be parents. Then we expect them to know how to properly raise their children.
And the cycle repeats.
Dear Coffee Shop Customers- Love, Your Barista
May 6th 2010
Dear Coffee Shop Customers,
Here are a few tips to consider the next time you go to a coffee shop.
1. Read the menu before you order if you aren't a regular. Usually there are things like prices, and descriptions, and sizes. Things I, your barista sometimes have to double check to make sure are really there on the large menu board because of the number of times i get asked "HOW MUCH DOES THIS ONE COST?"
2. If you aren't at Starbucks, don't order a Starbucks signature beverage. Most places do not have "Vanilla Bean" or "Green Tea" Fraps. Don't order a size "tall" unless it is listed as one of the sizes at the coffee shop you are at. It's confusing. A Starbucks tall is actually the small. But tall in general language means "large". Save me the effort of asking which one you mean.
3. Don't order a macchiato unless you actually know what it is (as previously stated, read the description) A macchiato is not a yummy caramel sauce/vanilla latte. A real macchiato is a shot of espresso with a dollop of foam. When i ask you if you want a real macchiato or a Starbucks version of a macchiato, don't glare at me and say "the real one" and then yell at me when i give you one ounce of liquid in a cup and say "UM THIS ISN'T WHAT I ORDERED"
4. Learn the difference between a real cappuccino and a gas station cappuccino. One is espresso with steamed milk and lots of foam. One is flavored sugar powder and water. I had a lady accuse me of "making her cappuccino taste like coffee" tonight. Guilty as charged. oops.
5. If you're going in just to use the bathroom, or if you just want a cup of water, just be nice about it. We're probably not going to tell you "no". But it really isn't our job to give away free stuff or be a public restroom, so you can at least be grateful. Also, if it's empty inside, we can see you. Even when you try to slither your way around the outside of the store and don't make eye contact on your way to the bathroom. We can still see you, but if it makes you feel better, do what you have to do and pretend you have your invisibility cloak on.
6. This is more general to the entire service industry, but when the person behind the counter looks at you and smiles and says "hi!", the least you can do is mumble a "hello" back before you demand "gimme a coffee"
7. Speaking of mumbling... don't do it. It's super loud behind the counter. At any given moment there are usually coffee beans being ground, milk being steamed, blenders blending, etc. SPEAK UP. ENUNCIATE.
Hey, thanks a latte.
Love,
Your Barista.
Here are a few tips to consider the next time you go to a coffee shop.
1. Read the menu before you order if you aren't a regular. Usually there are things like prices, and descriptions, and sizes. Things I, your barista sometimes have to double check to make sure are really there on the large menu board because of the number of times i get asked "HOW MUCH DOES THIS ONE COST?"
2. If you aren't at Starbucks, don't order a Starbucks signature beverage. Most places do not have "Vanilla Bean" or "Green Tea" Fraps. Don't order a size "tall" unless it is listed as one of the sizes at the coffee shop you are at. It's confusing. A Starbucks tall is actually the small. But tall in general language means "large". Save me the effort of asking which one you mean.
3. Don't order a macchiato unless you actually know what it is (as previously stated, read the description) A macchiato is not a yummy caramel sauce/vanilla latte. A real macchiato is a shot of espresso with a dollop of foam. When i ask you if you want a real macchiato or a Starbucks version of a macchiato, don't glare at me and say "the real one" and then yell at me when i give you one ounce of liquid in a cup and say "UM THIS ISN'T WHAT I ORDERED"
4. Learn the difference between a real cappuccino and a gas station cappuccino. One is espresso with steamed milk and lots of foam. One is flavored sugar powder and water. I had a lady accuse me of "making her cappuccino taste like coffee" tonight. Guilty as charged. oops.
5. If you're going in just to use the bathroom, or if you just want a cup of water, just be nice about it. We're probably not going to tell you "no". But it really isn't our job to give away free stuff or be a public restroom, so you can at least be grateful. Also, if it's empty inside, we can see you. Even when you try to slither your way around the outside of the store and don't make eye contact on your way to the bathroom. We can still see you, but if it makes you feel better, do what you have to do and pretend you have your invisibility cloak on.
6. This is more general to the entire service industry, but when the person behind the counter looks at you and smiles and says "hi!", the least you can do is mumble a "hello" back before you demand "gimme a coffee"
7. Speaking of mumbling... don't do it. It's super loud behind the counter. At any given moment there are usually coffee beans being ground, milk being steamed, blenders blending, etc. SPEAK UP. ENUNCIATE.
Hey, thanks a latte.
Love,
Your Barista.
The Rich and the Poor and Who Deserves What
March 4th 2010
I've been waiting the last few days for something to inspire an entry not related to my every day life. I
was sitting in class and wasting time by reading through recent postings and found one titled "here's how to solve poverty" written by a 20 year old female. Hey, i thought, i'm a 20 year old female too! I wanted to find out what another 20 year old female thought about poverty.
Parts of what I read in that entry seriously made my blood boil.
I'm a social welfare major, hoping soon to get into the school of social work and a title IVE child welfare training program. So i have taken A LOT of classes that have discussed welfare, poverty, racisim, govermental programs etc. I wish my mind were a complete sponge so I could spit out the statistics and facts I have learned in these classes as soon as I need to. But I often need to go back and re-read my notes and properly gather my thoughts before I debate the other side.
I think the number one thing that bothers me about poverty is that middle and upper class people often think the poor are lazy, and if they tried hard enough, they could be wealthy, or at least middle class. Apparently people think that rags to riches stories are everywhere. Poor people should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and stop complaining and get their shit together.
American Ideology revolves around the following 3 concepts. 1. Self Reliance (you can get things done by yourself) 2. Equal-opportunity (everyone has it) and 3. Meritocracy (theose who work hard are rewarded)
For the people who believe in those concepts, I ask the following:
1. are you white?
2. are you male? (though this is slightly less important)
3. were you born into the middle/upper class?
4. did you grow up in a decent neighborhood, with competent schools?
5. Have you ever had a serious medical issue arise and had insurance to cover the costs?
Ever heard of social stratification?
Studies have proven that the system of stratification individuals are born into has a great effect on their life chances. Life chances are opporutnities people have to acquire social resources. To illustrate this concept, 60% of the survivors on the Titanic were upper class. 36% were middle class, and a mere 26% were lower class. Does that mean that the lower class people just didn't try hard enough to get off the boat?
Studies have also proven that stratification carries over from on generation to the next. The social class one is born into is a significant predictor of class in adulthood. If you were born into poverty, you're most likely to live in poverty the rest of your life. If you were born into upper-class, you are most likely to live the rest of your life in the upper class.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD. there just ISN'T.
How can you say a white, male child who grows up in an, upper-class household, who goes to private school, gets to take vacations and trips is on the same playing field as a black, female child who grows up in poverty, in a dangerous neighborhood, with poor schools and underqualified teachers?
Is it through either of their own efforts that they were born into the specific situation they were? No. They got what they got.
And I get it. Life isn't fair. It's not the rich person's fault that the poor person was born into poverty. But one can AT LEAST acknowledge the fact that there isn't equality and RESPECT the poor for the hardworking, resilient, and good people the majority of them are. If you aren't poor, you don't know what the poor go through.How can anyone say that white collar jobs are more difficult than blue collar jobs. Difficult in what way? You don't know the double shifts they work, the blood, sweat and tears that go into their manual labor jobs with little thanks, the pain they feel from the hard labor that they numb with OTC dugs because they can't afford the perscriptions for their conditions, the humiliation they feel as they tell their children there won't be any dinner tonight, or the feeling of failure they feel when they apply for welfare, something they thought they would always be able to get by without.
Education. WHEN YOU ARE POOR. IT IS VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DIFFICULT TO JUST ENROLL AS A STUDENT AT A COLLEGE. assuming you have a high school diploma already. Yes, they can get financial aid and take out loans (if they're lucky). Do you know how long it takes to get a degree? 2 years if you're a full time student at most tech colleges. And where are you supposed to earn money if you have rent to pay? If you have a car? Health insurance? Utilities and personal care items? Food? Chlid care if applicable? If one is already working 2 jobs to make ends meet, where exactly is the time in their schedule to go to school?
In the entry that I read this afternoon it was stated somewhere that poor people just think they are entitled to a middle class life. What I want to know, is what makes the middle and upper class people think they are entitled to a life outside of poverty? Did you work to become white? Did you work to move to a good neighborhood with a good school when you were a kid? Did you work to choose your parents? Did you do ALL of the work to get to where you are? And what about the people who do all of the work and fall short because of luck?
It's not about entitlement. Ask any person living in poverty what they think they're entitled to. You may be surprised by the answer.
I've been waiting the last few days for something to inspire an entry not related to my every day life. I
was sitting in class and wasting time by reading through recent postings and found one titled "here's how to solve poverty" written by a 20 year old female. Hey, i thought, i'm a 20 year old female too! I wanted to find out what another 20 year old female thought about poverty.
Parts of what I read in that entry seriously made my blood boil.
I'm a social welfare major, hoping soon to get into the school of social work and a title IVE child welfare training program. So i have taken A LOT of classes that have discussed welfare, poverty, racisim, govermental programs etc. I wish my mind were a complete sponge so I could spit out the statistics and facts I have learned in these classes as soon as I need to. But I often need to go back and re-read my notes and properly gather my thoughts before I debate the other side.
I think the number one thing that bothers me about poverty is that middle and upper class people often think the poor are lazy, and if they tried hard enough, they could be wealthy, or at least middle class. Apparently people think that rags to riches stories are everywhere. Poor people should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and stop complaining and get their shit together.
American Ideology revolves around the following 3 concepts. 1. Self Reliance (you can get things done by yourself) 2. Equal-opportunity (everyone has it) and 3. Meritocracy (theose who work hard are rewarded)
For the people who believe in those concepts, I ask the following:
1. are you white?
2. are you male? (though this is slightly less important)
3. were you born into the middle/upper class?
4. did you grow up in a decent neighborhood, with competent schools?
5. Have you ever had a serious medical issue arise and had insurance to cover the costs?
Ever heard of social stratification?
Studies have proven that the system of stratification individuals are born into has a great effect on their life chances. Life chances are opporutnities people have to acquire social resources. To illustrate this concept, 60% of the survivors on the Titanic were upper class. 36% were middle class, and a mere 26% were lower class. Does that mean that the lower class people just didn't try hard enough to get off the boat?
Studies have also proven that stratification carries over from on generation to the next. The social class one is born into is a significant predictor of class in adulthood. If you were born into poverty, you're most likely to live in poverty the rest of your life. If you were born into upper-class, you are most likely to live the rest of your life in the upper class.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD. there just ISN'T.
How can you say a white, male child who grows up in an, upper-class household, who goes to private school, gets to take vacations and trips is on the same playing field as a black, female child who grows up in poverty, in a dangerous neighborhood, with poor schools and underqualified teachers?
Is it through either of their own efforts that they were born into the specific situation they were? No. They got what they got.
And I get it. Life isn't fair. It's not the rich person's fault that the poor person was born into poverty. But one can AT LEAST acknowledge the fact that there isn't equality and RESPECT the poor for the hardworking, resilient, and good people the majority of them are. If you aren't poor, you don't know what the poor go through.How can anyone say that white collar jobs are more difficult than blue collar jobs. Difficult in what way? You don't know the double shifts they work, the blood, sweat and tears that go into their manual labor jobs with little thanks, the pain they feel from the hard labor that they numb with OTC dugs because they can't afford the perscriptions for their conditions, the humiliation they feel as they tell their children there won't be any dinner tonight, or the feeling of failure they feel when they apply for welfare, something they thought they would always be able to get by without.
Education. WHEN YOU ARE POOR. IT IS VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DIFFICULT TO JUST ENROLL AS A STUDENT AT A COLLEGE. assuming you have a high school diploma already. Yes, they can get financial aid and take out loans (if they're lucky). Do you know how long it takes to get a degree? 2 years if you're a full time student at most tech colleges. And where are you supposed to earn money if you have rent to pay? If you have a car? Health insurance? Utilities and personal care items? Food? Chlid care if applicable? If one is already working 2 jobs to make ends meet, where exactly is the time in their schedule to go to school?
In the entry that I read this afternoon it was stated somewhere that poor people just think they are entitled to a middle class life. What I want to know, is what makes the middle and upper class people think they are entitled to a life outside of poverty? Did you work to become white? Did you work to move to a good neighborhood with a good school when you were a kid? Did you work to choose your parents? Did you do ALL of the work to get to where you are? And what about the people who do all of the work and fall short because of luck?
It's not about entitlement. Ask any person living in poverty what they think they're entitled to. You may be surprised by the answer.
Going Public.
I have always been a reading fanatic. As a kid, I remember spending my summers plowing through entire series of "Chapter books" sometimes reading two or three a day. (Nerdy, I know.) I'm not quite sure when my love for reading expanded to an avid passion for writing, but it did.
A few years ago I started a semi-anonymous blog. My purpose for starting that blog was simply to keep a record of the things I have done and places I have been. It has grown since that point, and I now often write about some topics that require a little more thought.
I've shared some of these "entries" with close family and friends, who have tried to assure me I actually have a knack for writing. Due to the fact that I'd still like to keep my original blog anonymous and private- I have decided to branch out and start a public blog, a blog that can be readily shared with all of you in my real life.
This is a borderline terrifying experience, as these thoughts are incredibly intimate and I'm not sure how comfortable I feel with making myself so vulnerable. But I suppose it's a learning process and we'll see where it leads.
Aside from this entry, the next several blog posts will be archived writings of mine. From there, I plan on moving forward with much more current pieces.
:)
A few years ago I started a semi-anonymous blog. My purpose for starting that blog was simply to keep a record of the things I have done and places I have been. It has grown since that point, and I now often write about some topics that require a little more thought.
I've shared some of these "entries" with close family and friends, who have tried to assure me I actually have a knack for writing. Due to the fact that I'd still like to keep my original blog anonymous and private- I have decided to branch out and start a public blog, a blog that can be readily shared with all of you in my real life.
This is a borderline terrifying experience, as these thoughts are incredibly intimate and I'm not sure how comfortable I feel with making myself so vulnerable. But I suppose it's a learning process and we'll see where it leads.
Aside from this entry, the next several blog posts will be archived writings of mine. From there, I plan on moving forward with much more current pieces.
:)
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